Ricky Gervais and Steve Merchant's
Radio Show on xfm 104.9, London - Series 1
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Compiled by DELETE-TO-EMAILflare68@yahoo.com
Notes:
- Ricky and Steve returned to xfm following the success of the first series of
"The Office" - these programmes come from the end of the first run. I can't remember
who the producer of the first show of the series was "but we complained and someone
is having a laugh because they've given us Sturgess... It's like... 'The Monkey's
Paw'." Soon after Claire Sturgess produced, Karl come onto the show and the rest
is history.
- taped recordings were made to unlabelled tape and programmes have been reassembled
- MP3 sourced files were obtained through swaps with other listeners
Date: 2001-11-10
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Source: MP3
Notes: partial recording
Princess Superstar - "Untouchable"
Ricky Gervais film review: "The Jungle Book"
Song For The Lovers: The Smiths - "Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me"
Steve gets depressed about being single - especially when homeless people are
conducting long-distance relationships/Karl's relationship with Suzanne: "...but
I look normal." "You're quite an enigma, aren't you?" "Is Steve really touchy
about the way he looks?" "Do you really worry that when you're old you'll be alone?"
Embrace - "Make It Love"
The Hives - "Main Offender"
Couple of blokes taking pictures for X-Ray/giving away tickets for The Fall at
The Forum tonight/Schindler's lifts
Radiohead - "Paranoid Android"
"There was a bloke downstairs thought I was Johnny Vegas..."
U2 - "Walk On"
"I like U2 now"/The Fall: "Winners include Minna from Finland... Vinny from Surrey"
Groove Armada - "Superstyling"
"I'm going to try harder next week."
Ice-T - "It was A Good Day"
Magnolia
Song for the ladies: Aimee Mann - "Wise Up"
Date: 2001-11-17
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Source: MP3
Notes: this is the show that earned the chaps a slap on the wrist from the broadcasting
standards authority
Dandy Warhols - "Bohemian Like You"
Mystic Meg/Karl is livid
Adam F - "Stand Clear"
Trivia: which is the only bird with a penis?/coarse sexual innuendo
Ash - "Sometimes"
More coarse sexual innuendo
- "Outta My Way"
Ian Brown - "If Dolphins Were Monkeys"
Why's Karl grumpy? "I think I've got S.A.D."
Weezer - "Island In The Sun"
- "Play Some Rock"
"Gaylords say no"/"Children In Need" last night
Bubba Sparks - "Dark Days, Bright Nights"
"Who's doing the chorus?"
Suede - "Beautiful Ones"
The Strokes - "Last Night"
The Ugly Duckling/"No one's going to complain about this..."/Steve saw Keith Harris
in a car
Smashing Pumpkins - "Untitled"
Steve wants to kiss and make up with Karl - "Karl has gone a absolute shade of
purple"
David Bowie - "Letter To Hermione"
Radiohead - "True Love Waits"
Blur - "Coffee And TV"
Ricky's Film Review: "Rain Man"
New Order: "60 Miles An Hour"
Under The Covers: White Stripes - "Jolene"
Gary Numan - "Cars" (Remix)
Sloane - "Pretty Together"
Date: 2001-11-24
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Source: MP3
Notes: It's Steve's birthday and he's hungover
Sum 41 - "In Too Deep"
"You were 26 last week.."
Cake - "Short Skirt, Long Jacket"
Steve's presents: "The Wartime Speeches Of Winston Churchill"/
White Stripes - "Hotel Yorba"
Oasis - "What's The Story Morning Glory"
VH1 Greatest Albums Of All Time/Steve got into the Monarch for free by promising
Ricky would DJ
Elbow - "Red"
Steve blagging into a club
[Tony Blackburn 'Help A London Breakfast Show/crackheads' trailer]
PJ Harvey - "This Is Love"
Cypress Hill - "Superstar"
"There's nobody else who looks like Steve"
Suede - "Beautiful Ones"
Joe Strummer ticket competition
Steve's visit to Salem
The Charlatans - "A Man Needs To Be Told"
Basement Jaxx - "Where's Yout Head At"
Ricky's go-kart which his dad swapped for a wheelbarrow with Jimmy Dublin
Dr. Dre - "Bad Intention"
"Steve's dragged me down"
Song for the lovers: Jimmy Webb - "Galveston"
More gifts: Steve once received "The Making Of Thriller"
Ash - "Sometimes"
Under The Covers: Spare Snare - "Say My Name"
Weezer - "Island In The Sun"
Les Fleur - "4 Hero"
"What if they spent the money they'd spent advertising Christian's show on this
and people tuned in?"/Bruno Brookes once played the sweary version of Rage Against
The Machine's "Killing In The Name Of"/Karl looks like Moby/Ricky likes Moby and
the bloke in Shed Seven
Song For The Ladies: Badly Drawn Boy - "Magic In The Air"
Date: 2001-12-01
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Source: MP3
Notes:
Muse - ""
Too many good tunes, new feature: that film sounds good
BRMC - "Love Burns"
"Better than last week - no it wasn't"/50 Most Eligible Batchelors/"Steve Merchant
wants a wife"
Eminem - "Slim Shady"
TV supplements come out too early/"My gran sounded like a squeezebox"/"We're talking
rubbish"
Gorillaz - "Rock The House"
"What happened to squeezeboxes?"/"Pipes are dying out"
That Film Sounds Good: Bobby Womack - "Across 110th Street"
Ricky goes boxing and was training to the Rocky soundtrack
U2 - "Walk On"
"I hated U2 for about 15 years"
Lloyd COle - ""
Simon And Garfunkel - "April Comes She Will"
Ricky's Film Review: "My Left Foot"
Date: 2001-12-08
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Source: MP3
Notes:
Ash - "There's A Star"
"Some great records..."
Eminen - The Real Slim Shady"
"...sounds like a novelty record..."/MC Hammer used to keep a lot of bibles in
his trousers/Pilkington is a funny name
Lost Prophets - "Shinobi vs. Dragon Ninja"
Karl had a mobile disco with Glen Makin: "Pilkie's Makin music"/Steve's stint
as the Rock'n'Roll DJs/songs Ricky had to play/
Coldplay - "Yellow"
Win tickets for K-Fest
De La Soul - "Watch Out"
Steve's dad heard Steve slagging off his birthday present/Ricky once told a story
about how he used to piss in the sink of the bedsit he had with his girlfriend
"I used to lift the dishes - it was quite hygenic" and his girlfriend's mum was
listening
Oasis - "Don't Look Back In Anger"
"Have you ever wet the bed?" Ricky stayed at his girlfriend's parent's house and
got so drunk he collapsed on the floor and amused himself trying to trip people
over... and pissed on her while she was in bed
Hip-hop Hooray: Mad Skillz - ""
Gorillaz - "Rok Da House"
Ricky once thought a used condom was a discarded snakeskin and tried to torment
his sister with it/Steve's mate tried to give a bird the kiss of life/Ricky killed
a fish with a bow and arrow/Karl had a pet magpie called "Maggie": "...it flew
around and it would come to me all the time, then it started pecking me head..."
Wu Tang Clan - "Gravel Pit"
Steve was working at the BBC, driving a hire car, ferrying actors around, a white
van came into the garage while he was filling up and was offered "a couple of
speakers"
Song For The Lovers: Neil Young - "Man Needs A Maid"
Ricky's Film Review: "Schindler's List", "Lord Of The Rings"
Eels - ""
Muse - "Feeling Good"
"That was a load of shit, sorry about that..."/"What's the difference between
Muse and Radiohead - phone in..."/Steve saw The White Stripes this week - "best
band I've seen since a little band I saw called Oasis for a fiver at Coventry
Poly"
Feeder - "Just A Day"
"I don't want to ever play "Feeling Good" again, or Kosheen," or Basement Jaxx.
"Carter have sent me some chocolates..." "Anything there from the Senseless Things?"
Radiohead - "Just"
"Let's go and kiss and touch Karl"
Song For The Ladies: Drugstore - "White Magic For Lovers"
Date: 2001-12-15
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Source: MP3
Notes:
The Strokes - "Last Night"
Good prizes this week: trivia quiz
Coldplay - "Yellow"
"Phone in and pitch a question to us two..."
Garbage - "Cheery Lips"
"Who was the first James Bond?": Bob Holness
Fun Loving Criminal - "Scooby Snacks"
"Which food kind of doesn't make you fat?" Celery
- ""
"Bit too like Portishead..."
"The Pope wears a semi-precious stone - what is the stone?"
Basement Jaxx - "Where's Your Head At?"
"Jonathan Ross just got his massive member out..." "'Hip-Hop Hooray'? That's the
worst feature on radio!"
Eminem - "Will The Real Slim Shady"
U2 - "Beautiful Day"
"When did you suddenly become the daddy?" "Am-thurst"/"What's the most expensive
pub in London?" The Punch And Judy, Covent Garden "I'll tell you who's bringing
us down, it's him! He was just hear to press buttons, we let him on the radio
because he's funny and we like him..."
Rolling Stones - "Monkey Man"
xfm have given everyone gift vouchers
Sum 41 - "In Too Deep"
Song For The Lovers - Bob Dylan "If You Say Her Say Hello": "The last song I ever
played on the old XFM"
The winner of the quiz is playing golf
Stereophonics - "Step On My Old Size Nines"
Ricky's made a Christmas single
Ricky Gervais - "Don't Cry, It's Christmas"
Ash - "There's A Star"
Ricky on politics
Hip-Hop Hooray: Digital Underground - "Same Song"
Super Furry Animals - "It's Not The End Of The World"
Karl is going on holiday to Barbados/touching Karl
Tim Buckley - "Buzzing Fly"
Date: 2001-12-22
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Source: MP3
Notes: favourite songs of the year; Claire Sturgess is producing
The English Comedy Awards with
New Order - "Crystal"
Gags about Claire being on smack
- ""
Ricky is making the tea and not ready
Paul Weller - "Changing Man"
The tea is awful - "I resent having to make tea" "Well don't teach me a lesson!"/last
year for Christmas Ricky bought his family 200 quid's worth of scratchcards from
the 7-11 opposite him
Mercury Rev - "The Dark Is Rising"
Ricky never used to buy gifts/Steve wanted Scalextric and played it to prove to
his mum he wasn't bored (which he was)
U2 - "The Ground Beneath Her Feet"
Oasis - "Live Forever"
Hip-hop Hooray: Princess Superstar - "Bad Babysitter"
Ricky's microscope/Steve tried to buy a watch on Oxford Street
Ten Benson - "Black Snow"
Steve Taylor from The Knowledge comes in - "He looks like a tennis ball"
Starsailor
The Hives - "Main Offender"
The Year Of The Geeks: Nu-metal, Harry Potter
Stereophonics - "Handbags And Gladrags"
"We didn't use that version - cost a fortune... We had to re-record it"/Chris
Rea made a film with Shirley Bassey in it/"Why doesn't Paul McCartney spend some
of his money on building his missus a bionic leg?"/The Six Million DOllar Man
was flawed/Steve's not playing any cover versions in the New Year, Ricky's not
doing any film reviews - "all new features"
Under The Covers: Kings Of Convenience - "Once Around The Block"
PJ Harvey - ""
Christmas dinner at Steve's parents'/Steve's grandparents, their teeth and overcooked
meat
Travis - "Driftwood"
Denis Norden
White Stripes - "Fell In Love With A Girl"
Pogues - "Fairytale Of New York"
Claire is working on Christmas Day
A Song For The Ladies: Nick Cave - "Love Letter"
We'll be back on the 12th (January)
Joni Mitchell - "The River"
"Don't take anything we say too seriously..!"
Date: 2002-01-12
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Source: xfm website
Notes: The show has been off for a couple of weeks while Ricky has been on holiday.
POD - "?"
Actors: "Actors are often quite handsome people yet they're always quite
obnoxious. You're a good example of that. I think it must be the small man complex..."
Muse - "Plug-In Baby"
Fire: "There's a fire alarm going off! And the fire light's going off!
Should we not maybe go and check that out?"
Mercury Rev - "The Dark Is Rising"
Chicken: "Imagine that though - there's a fire and there're loads of firemen
going 'Get back!' and you're going to the firemen 'Ooh! Get back! Bukark! Bukark!'"
Happy Mondays - "Step On"
Rabbit: "It is weird! The idea of a rabbit having sex with a beautiful
woman. That's the weirdest thing about it. It makes me feel annoyed, if I'm
honest..."
N*E*R*D - "Bobby James"
Piracy: "Maybe I'll just do some bootlegs and sell them at Camden Market
for four quid..."
Hives - "Hate To Say I Told You So"
Baguette: "If this is gonna be 'Someone cooked a loaf a bit wrong and said
I can still make a sandwich out of it' I'm gonna hit you..."
Radiohead - "Let Down"
The Avalanches - "Frontier Psychiatrist"
Pasty: "Obviously we inflamed and provoked with the Cornish Pasties - I've
got a couple of amendments to that; the crusty bit is a handle..."
Ash - "There's A Star"
Row: "He overhears a married couple arguing, she says to him 'For Christ's
sake! Every time we come out drinking you always shit yourself!'"
Gloria - "Patti Smith"
Flintstones: "I tell you what, I wouldn't take that from a cat though -
if a cat picked me up by the scruff of the neck and put me outside on the doorstep
I'd get rid of it. It is a sabre-tooth tiger though..."
Dandy Warhols - "Bohemian Like You"
100 Reasons - "?"
Razzamatazz: "It was of the time, sort of New Romantic, I looked about
ten and five stone, with hair and make-up and girly clothes. My sister actually
said I looked like Posh Spice..."
That Film Sounds Good: Elton John - "Tiny Dancer"
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Love Burns"
Garbage: "I was lucky enough this week to go to an exclusive press preview
of Britney Spears' forthcoming movie, 'Crossroads' I think it's called. I'm
assuming you'd love me to do a little review of it; I can't."
Song For The Ladies: Rolling Stones - "Wild Horses"
Date: 2002-03-09
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Source: MP3
Notes: partial recording; Karl got his O-level results last week
Karl's homework: read all about Che Guervara
White van Karl
Karl's brother in the army
Educating Karl: Che Guervara
"Mrs. Matthews said to me mam and dad that I'd never be a high flier - and that
was after I played the drums in 'Little Donkey'."
Karl's dad in his taxi - picking up the elephant woman
Karl saw Monsters Inc.
Date: 2002-03-16
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Source: MP3
Notes:
"A bit annoying... they're writing it up now in Heat"
"The Wurzels have made a bit of a comeback"/"The Very Best of Toni Basil"
"Killed by tractor"
TRIC Awards
Trailing education Of Karl: Hitler
St. Patrick/some snakes are born with two heads
White van Karl: Will Young/police protest/privacy laws
Education Of Karl: Hitler
Karl on the Hindenburg (helium?!?!)/interesting bits
"Let's attach 6000 helium balloons to Karl"
Date: 2002-03-23
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Source: MP3
Notes: partial recording; an e-mail has been circulated telling everyone not
to talk about Adam Ant
Richard X vs. Sugababes - "Are Freaks Electric" ("Freak Like Me")
"What a lovely Saturday it is"
Badly Drawn Boy - "Silent Sigh"
No Adam Ant/Karl's lesbian auntie (and "Ken Dodd") and her haunted house
The Las - "There She Goes"
"Water off a frog's back"/pipes are dying out/water filters/Steve's features
need sorting out
Simon And Garfunkel - "America"
Strokes - "Last Night"
Balloons: "Karl's gone off the idea"/"Oi, lanky! You've dropped your phone!"/Karl
on "Stars In Their Eyes"
X-Press 2 - "Lazy"
White van Karl: Channel 4 producer duped a school into thinking he was a pupil/EMI
and Mariah Carey/money stolen from Heathrow - "what is all that money doing
there?"/Karl's trip around Kelloggs/Karl working in Cordon Bleu; stuck in a
puddle in a trolley
Electric Soft Parade - "There's A Silence"
Gomez - "Shot Shot"
The re-education of Karl Pilkington: Winston Churchill
- "It Already Is"
Churchill was on drugs/bees and turtles/fables
Starsailor - "Poor Miguided Fool"
The Hives - "Hate To Say I Told You So"
Karl's not impressed by fables
N*E*R*D - "Hip Hop Hooray"
(incomplete)
Date: 2002-03-30
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Karl on Aesop's Fables/"Comedian Rapped Over Coarse Sexual Innuendo"
Date: 2002-04-06
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"Karl Pilkington is over there"/"Make Ricky Gervais laugh"/Michael Stipe's picture
[had this - confirmed the date]
Date: 20020406 [CONFIRMED]
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"Karl Pilkington is over there"/"Make Ricky Gervais laugh"/Michael Stipe's picture
Born without a brain
Karl in a jar/no homework (quotes)/Best bit of Karl's week
Steve's acting
Personal fitness
Steve's acting II/Guns 'n Roses/UB40
Tales Of The Unexpected: headless/erotic literature
White Van Karl: Queen Mum's funeral/Cloning/Horse/Selling Flowers
Cloning II
Karl's homework: Quotes
Date: 2002-04-13
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New Order/Guardian interview with Steve's name wrong
Date: 2002-04-20 [DEFINITE]
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Source: Taped, edited (55 minutes)
Notes: last show before the BAFTAs; two shows left
"Karl wanted to start off with the Stereophonics"
Mobile DJing/Fantasy Island/Scout jamboree
Ricky's brother in law's records/Karl shoplifting
Emergency guidelines
Luther Vandross
("rung to wish us luck in the BAFTAs")
Karl's impressions
Karl's homework: Lateral Thinking
Taking Karl to the BAFTAs/disciplining Karl
Karl's homework: Lateral Thinking. "You idiot. Play a record."
How many balls?
White Van Karl: Camilla & Charles, Sven & Ulrikka, St George's Day
"Would you Suck Out The Poison?"
"I knew it wasn't going to be a belter today."
Date: 2002-04-27 [DEFINITE]
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Source: MP3
Notes: post-Bafta, penultimate show
BRMC - "Spread Your Love"
Karl stressed - Ricky rejecting opening record
Steve DJing for xfm last night
Killing Of Georgie - "we should play that" (sampling is garbled on tape version)
BAFTA/"Dido's wedding's off"
Calling Chris Moyles golf puns/Down The Tube
("we will play the new Eminem single")
"(I know you're keen to play the new Eminem single")
"Three musketeers"/"Who does Karl talk to?"/Urban Myths from the internet
Karl's Swapshop
Female artists: Aimee Mann/Sheryl Crow
('playing "Killing of Georgie" later')
Ricky's hypochondria
White van Karl: average woman getting ready, Sven & Ulrikka, Beckham driving
injured, French election
'A Song For The Gays': Rod Stewart - "Killing Of Georgie"
Date: 2002-05-04 [DEFINITE]
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Source: Tape (up to high jump story)/MP3 (rest)
Notes: last show in series; giving away the BAFTA bag
It's the last show/"The Queen Mother Swore Like A Trooper"
Neil Young - "Heart Of Gold"
The Sony Radio Awards/Steve high jump: "a flea can jump over the Millenium Eye"
Steve's bowtie
Karl's Swap Shop
Steve's taxes
Room 102 - Karl's hates: posh birds, spiders, Stars In Their Eyes/Karl's talent
show
Karl's Swap Shop II
Room 102 II: holidays
Presents (sampling garbled on tape version)
The Smiths - "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out"